We love our customers. From mom and pop stores to multinationals, most of them do solid business and behave pretty well. But when you have hundreds of customers and thousands of transactions in the cannabis industry over many years, you see some crazy things. This list contains crazy things that happened in Oregon. It’s just for fun.
There was the guy walking out the back door with some company plants in front of the camera. Also the brave woman who opened an unlicensed marijuana shop on a busy street (and was politely closed by Portland police). The same woman who tried to sue the OLCC for failing to license it even though she hadn’t completed the application The amazing customers who didn’t know who owned the LLC that they both organized and managed. The opponent who declared tax fraud to an arbitrator and said, “Everyone is doing it. Well, maybe not Mother Theresa! But you know ¯ _ (ツ) _ / ¯ ”. (He lost.) The seedy brothers who wanted a lot of money to license a Wu-Tang member’s IP even though they had no verifiable connection to that member. The corrupt CPA forged the signatures of his client, a famous actress, to invest her money in a cannabis business. The geniuses who built these terrible business structures. The gentleman who shut down a $ 2 million property made a monthly payment and just … disappeared. We genuinely disappointed the customer because we don’t have a ruler in the office. That $ 2 million buyer who reappeared a year later to “get the property back” and then disappeared again (forever?). Almost every CBD broker I have come across, and especially those who turned up as PSA brokers in our law firm’s China practice later in the early days of COVID. The friendly people who have sold “shares” in their non-profit organization. The horrible person who took LLC investment funds from our clients, bought land on his own behalf, drove cannabis to Nevada, and chased our clients off the property with a gun. The attorney who sued us for “conspiracy” because our client allegedly intruded somewhere and then never served the lawsuit. The lawyers who told people not to file tax returns due to the 5th Amendment. The customer gutted by a crazy person crouched on his landlord’s property (that was horrible; he survived). The customer who reluctantly evicted his tenant after the FBI arrested this tenant who was driving across the country on many types of drugs. The very thoughtful customers who fired us but promised to set up a university hemp research center in Harris Bricken’s name after they won their lawsuit. The customer who had won a hefty six-figure severance payment, but wanted to leave it here indefinitely and swing it every now and then to run around for money (apparently forever). The guy who asked an OLCC inspector what he could do “to fix this little problem”. Finally, the customers who were playing that song on giant speakers when an OLCC investigator came to their property. We kind of lost sight of her.